Sometimes It Hurts Instead
by lost-n-stereo
Summary: Puck is happily married, living in New York, when a knock on his door makes him rethink everything. Rated T for swearing.


Disclaimer: I, of course, do not own Glee or any of the characters.

Warning: Kinda angsty, not for everyone!

Rating: T for Puck's mouth

Characters: Puck/Rachel

Summary: Future Fic inspired by the song "Someone Like You" by Adele.

Noah Puckerman generally considers himself to be a pretty lucky guy. Sure, he made some stupid mistakes when he was young. Trying to steal an ATM machine and being in juvie for a while wasn't his fine moment. But there are a lot of things he's done right. He married an awesome chick, works at a kickass job and owns his own place in one of the most amazing cities in the world. He works as a studio guitarist making a pretty decent living doing what he loves the most. For a 28 year old guy, he could be doing a helluva lot worse. But one windy day in October, everything turns on it's axis, and the things he thought he always wanted were replaced by the one thing he could never really have.

That day started off like any other day. Puck woke up to the smell of bacon cooking and quickly got up out of bed. He made his way through his modest two bedroom apartment in Brooklyn, and into the kitchen where his wife stood barefoot in front of the stove. Maggie hadn't noticed him yet so Puck creeped quietly behind her, wrapping his large arms around her small waist. She jumped as soon as she felt him there, and relaxed only a little when he laughed.

"Jesus Puck! You scared the shit out of me!" He laughed again at the angry look on his wife's face. She rolled her eyes and turned back to the stove to flip the bacon.

"Sorry, baby." Maggie rolled her eyes again and Puck knew it was because she was well aware he didn't mean it. After less than a year of marriage, they already knew when the other was bullshitting and when they were genuine. Puck ignored the irriated look on his wife's face as he grabbed a piece of bacon from the pan in front of her. "You know if Ma saw you cooking me bacon she'd have a conniption fit." Maggie handed him a cup of coffee and started to put his breakfast on a plate.

"Yes, well thankfully your mother lives very, very far away." Puck felt a flare of annoyance start to bubble up and normally he'd say something like a smart ass, but just thanked Maggie for his breakfast instead. It wasn't unusual for her to take a crack at his mother. The only person that could do that was him, because that woman is legit batshit crazy. Maggie poured herself a cup of orange juice and sat at that table across from Puck. "So what are you up to today?" Puck reaches behind him to grab his phone off the kitchen counter. He scrolls through until he finds his daily calender.

"I got a session with some chick at 3:00, but other than that I'm clear for the day. What about you?" Maggie works as receptionist for a law firm, and Puck obviously knows she will be working all day. Maggie tells him as such and says she probably won't be home until after dark. Puck just nods and checks his emails, waits until she gets up to get dressed before acknowledging her again. When she leaves for work he gives her a kiss on the cheek, tells her to have a good day and says he'll figure out dinner for himself.

His 3:00 session goes without any problems or disruptions. The chick he's playing for is some bubblegum pop diva and he doesn't even know why he's playing for her when she will just be auto tuned later. He grabs his guitar and his gear before catching the subway back to his apartment. The three block walk is usually easy as hell but with the wind today it's taking him twice as long to get home. He finally makes it up to his building and smiles at one of his neighbor as he pushes open his door. He makes a quick dinner out of the leftovers in his fridge, something that Maggie would look at with disgust and it makes him smile at the thought.

He's in the shower when he hears the knock on his door. He figures it's Maggie, who probably lost her keys again, so he just grabs a towel and slings it around his waist before pulling the door open. To say he's shocked by the person standing in front of him would be an understatement, and all of a sudden he feels really fucking stupid for not wearing any clothes. Her hair is in messy waves around her head from the wind and she has a scarf wrapped around her neck to keep out the cold. Her eyes are brimmed with red and she doesn't look like the girl he used to know, but instead a shell of someone he never thought he'd see again. She's the first to speak and just like it has been since he was fifteen, hell probably longer than that, her voice just about takes his breath away.

"Hello Noah."

Two words and his entire life without her feels like it's been pointless. He's been without Rachel Berry for almost five years. Since they decided that they couldn't do it anymore, that she was better off without him. Or at least that was the bullshit excuse he fed himself since then. That she was better than him, had always been better than him, and she was better off without him holding her back. He had heard about her success from mutual friends since their breakup. He knew she had finally landed a Broadway role, was finally exactly where she wanted to be. Puck always felt like he had something to do with that, if only because he left her alone so she could make it happen.

Puck looks at her, probably for a beat too long, and he can see the blush start to creep up on his face. That's when he realizes he's not wearing any clothes and he almost laughs.

"Rach..." It feels weird calling her that. "What are you doing here?" It comes out harsher than he meant it to but then he thinks, fuck it, she just shows up here after five years, let her feel uncomfortable for a minute.

"Noah...I know this is probably not okay...me just showing up here out of the blue..." He can't remember a time he's ever heard her so unsure of herself and it worries him. This isn't Rachel, at least not his Rachel anyways. He opens his door wider and motions for her to come in when she doesn't budge. She smiles weakly and walks past him. He doesn't miss the way she looks at the framed photo of him and Maggie sitting on the fireplace.

"I'm gonna..." She nods, not needing him to finish his sentence, just like always. He gives her a little smile and holds up one finger before disappearing into his bedroom. He knows her being here is not ideal. Maggie could come home at any minute and seeing his beautiful, successful ex in their living room probably wouldn't end well. Fuck, did he just call her beautiful? Oh well, no one can blame him for thinking it and anyone who doesn't is an idiot. He throws on jeans and a white t shirt before rejoining her in the living room. She is standing in front of the window, looking out to the park across the street. She doesn't need to turn around to know he's there, he knows she can feel him, just like he could always feel her.

"I'm really sorry to just show up here. I've just been thinking lately, thinking about you and...us..." He's worried about where this conversation is going, and he doesn't know when his wife's going to be home but he selfishly hopes it isn't soon. She turns to look at him and he knows there are two ways this can go, and neither is a situation he's ready for. "I know this is incredibly inappropriate, I'm sure your wife will be home soon. I should go..." Puck grabs her by the wrist when she tries to walk past him and she looks up at him with wide eyes. He shouldn't want to kiss her but he does. Fuck, he's never been good at resisting her, it's an inside battle to do it now.

"Rachel...what are you doing here?" This time he says it carefully, quietly so she knows he's not upset with her. She has always been sensitive and she's the only person that can bring out the Noah side in Puck. He still has his hand on her wrist and she looks down at where he is touching her.

"Noah, I know you're married and I'm sure that you're happy. It was foolish for me to come here, I don't really know why I did." He can see right through her bullshit and he tells her so.

"Come on Rachel, that's a fucking lie and you know it. Why are you here? It's been five years and I haven't heard from you at all. Not a phone call, not a fucking email or a text. And then you just show up here, and then say you should leave? What is going on? The truth, Rachel, no bullshit." He lets go of her wrist, and leans back against the back of his couch with his arms folded. She knows this is his "no bullshit" stance, and she knows that he won't let her leave until she starts talking.

"I heard from Finn...and Santana...and Quinn that you got married, I just...I guess I just wanted to see for myself if it was true." Puck rolls his eyes and shakes his head. Fucking Finn, he knows better than to talk about him to Rachel. And as for Santana and Quinn, well they will be getting a piece of his mind soon too. Rachel just looks distraught at this point and it's all Puck can do to not wrap his arms around her. Instincts that he's had for the past 15 years are hard to ignore but he does. She looks at the photo on the fireplace again and Puck is already dreading whatever it is that is about to leave her mouth. "That must be her...she's very pretty."

"Goddammit Rachel, don't do this. You can't fucking do this to me, it's not fair." She whips around then, and he can see some of the old Rachel Berry fire in her eyes.

"I didn't come here to try to steal you away Noah! I mean, yes, perhaps that was somewhere in the back of my mind. I've always thought of you as mine, and now your..._her's_...and I don't really know how to deal with this!" Puck is getting mad now and he scowls when she looks back at him.

"This is fucked up Rachel! I've been married for like five fucking minutes, and now you're just gonna come to my house, and tell me that, what you miss me? That you want me back? What the fuck?" Her eyes start to brim and he immediately feels like the world's biggest asshole. He goes to reach for her and she pulls away.

"You're right Noah, you are absolutely right. This was a mistake, a huge mistake. I shouldn't have come here..." He can hear her breathing change, he knows she is seconds away from a meltdown. All he can think of is how he can make this better and how he wishes she could have came here nine months ago before he was married. This girl, the girl with the messy hair and plaid scarf, is the only person he's ever truly wanted. He followed her to New York, he worked and slaved way at stupid pointless jobs so she could go to auditions, so she could live out her dreams. Why is she here now, wanting him only when he's not allowed to want her back.

"Damn it, Rach. I waited for you, for five years. Five fucking years, do you know what that did to me? All I wanted was you, all I ever wanted was you and now...it's too late." He watches helplessly as her eyes fill with tears and she nods as she fastens her scarf.

"I wish nothing but the best for you, Noah. I mean that, truly. You deserve all the happiness in the world, even if its not with me. I won't drop in on you again like this, I'm sorry...I'm just...I'm sorry...goodbye Noah..." They both know he isn't going to try to stop her this time, and he watches as she hurries out into the dark hallway outside his door. His heart clenches in his chest as he watches the back of her red peacoat dissapear as the door closes behind her. He lets the anger wash over him now and he puts his fist through the wall, cursing himself afterwards knowing he'll have to explain it to Maggie later.

He grabs a beer out of the fridge after he grabs some ice for his knuckles, popping the top off with his good hand. He looks at the door again, like he's expecting the knock he knows isn't going to come. He tilts his beer towards it, and speaks quietly to himself.

"Goodbye Berry."

**A/N: So that is my first time writing Puckleberry! This was a quick one-shot that I literally couldn't get out of my head! I hope you enjoyed it! If there is enough interest I might do more in this 'verse. I have an idea for a prequel & a sequel, but only if the interest is there. Thanks for reading!**


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